• SibLINGSHOT

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Please adopt a senior CEO.

Poor Charlie. They\’ve threatened to take his bonus away.

Every year in the financial services sector, bonuses are being cruelly slashed in a bid to punish the innocent. Charlie is only one of several senior executives unable to underwrite that third luxury home; the private island in Malaysia; a string of well educated personal escorts. That\’s why it\’s imperative we dig deep in our pockets and do something about this frightful state of affairs. Today.

For only £3 per month, you can sponsor a senior CEO just like Charlie. No fuss. No stress. All that\’s required are your bank details, and we will do the rest. Come on. Won\’t somebody please adopt an elderly wretch like Charlie ?

Now the tax payer is obliged to bear the financial burden of bailing out the banks, there is a groundswell of furious debate as to whether the continued practice of paying out grossly excessive bonuses can be countenanced. Expect to see an advertisment like this coming to a space near you in the none too distant future.

#dispatches

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