ORIGIN late 16th cent.: from Latin inaugurat- ‘interpreted as omens (from the flight of birds),’ based on augurare ‘to augur.’

I thought I was getting a bargain. A pair of jeans for – substantially – under a tenner. And not too bad a cut.

Of course, since I have recently persuaded myself – with no real evidence – that I have visibly shed some weight, I purposefully went down a \”dress size\” at the time of purchase. They have lounged in their plastic carrier bag for the past couple of weeks, until today, when I was looking for something to wear for an especially pressing engagement; a \’back to work\’ focused interview for lone parents with (or without) a lone ranger fetish.

Bathed and shaved, I donned a fresh pair of still fairly damp socks and padded off in search of those jeans. I gave up long ago on any attempt to appear trendy or even vaguely up to date with current sartorial fashion for the younger man. I sucked in my gut and wrestled the denim over my thighs. There was a brief moment of irritability as I struggled with the zipper – no button fly for me – and it was then I realised the garment was lacking a button (or stud, or whatever the f@ck you call it). The very thing required to fasten yourself in without resorting to some William Shatner inspired corsetry.

Some f@cking bargain. Frugality is very often a false economy. And no indicator of common sense, it would seem. You might just have to start the inaugural ball without me.

Oh. And in case you\’re wondering… That \”lone ranger fetish\” reference ? Getting up in rubber masks and skin tight baby blue romper suits is not my bag, but it does remind my of a very peculiar and funny story…


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Hello. I am still breathing, if you wondered at this latest absence. I needed to step back from the drop awhile, the empty space between the rails, to let the game play out. It has not been pretty for