last of the degenerates
Throb. His jaw aches.
The tooth – lower eleven, molar – threatens to shear off with every jarring step. Has been this way since Pablo left the flat, in fact.
From the moment he obliterated the denier illusion on a slice so sweet it felt like a kiss.
Pablo scratches his nose. Tugs on one earlobe.
Too many electric pulses. Tight smiles in mouths resembling c-section scars; neatly packaged astringents that leave a stain on the eye.
He dimly recalls the climax. If one may call it that. Drooling over his shirt and onto the carpet while the sparks crackled and blew on the severed cable. The last six inches or so still coupled to the wall socket like an umbilical cord as he held his breath and waited to die. Good thing he couldn\’t scream.
He thought of the air terminal. Turbines in his head. Leather wings.
Bless me father for I have sinned, it has been two years since I last wrote a word.
Uncertain of what is expected of him, he stands dejected and simply gazes at the blank screen for long seconds thereafter. Terrified lest it wink back and hold him there forever, black Lazarus of la-la-land.
A Persian taking a piss.
He definitely remembers choking back the bile as he fumbles the torn sheet over it and leaves it at that. Thinks of mouldering corpses as he dresses it. Solid state soulless. Antique. Grisly unplumbed in that corner of his living space.
The vomit came then in rich velvet waves. Unpinning his head on a corkscrew turn. Keeping him retching when there is nothing more than the viscous puddle drying between his knees.
Pablo only realizes how dark it\’s grown when he collides with the humped back of one of several cripples lining the kerb over from the laundry.
Cheap wine over the shoulder. Where a girl might string a purse.
Pablo checks the tooth is still intact.
Where the crowns have worked loose on the upper rows, he has taken to using fixative intended for dentures. Cheaper than a visit to the dentist. Less untidy than fighting multiple extractions.
He quickly backs away. Is jostled off the pavement.
He is unaccustomed to conversation. The anxiety over words tumbling after teeth.
If he was ever adequately schooled in it, Pablo Dillinger has forgotten how to dance.