In deference to he who shall forever be dubbed the good doctor of double-jointed prose, I seriously toyed with the idea of shaving my head.

For the first time in years.

Fear and loathing – that I may emerge an ailing and elderly Syd, or more lightly, Uncle Fester\’s marginally younger sibling – ultimately stayed my hand on the BaByliss clippers. Even as the possibility sang in the wall socket and the razor\’s shield buzzed sinister like two barred cherries on hold.

As I remarked here on the bleachers previously, I have an aversion to gambling. It is not quite an all-out bugle cry from the stirrups of an old and creaking hobby horse, this disinclination to let my money ride, but in light of those other vices I have embraced or accumulated it is something of a small saving grace.

I am partial to berries. The common garden juice. I do not like fruit machines, the jangling in the slots.

The term \”one armed bandit\” seems hideously appropriate. Like a shrunken Mexican purse snatcher lying in wait in a dark lot in Vegas.

As a result I am cautious. The doctor would be far from proud.

So. Onto Telly Savalas. Lieutenant Theo Kojak, more specifically.

Successfully plucking Billy Goldenberg\’s memorable theme out the ether is itself something of a lottery, given that CBS-TV persistently meddled with the score\’s muscular signature arrangement. Not twice. Three times.

Crucially, it gambled on reception by inviting John Cacavas – a regular contributor of incidental music \”on set\” – to completely rewrite the show\’s opening credits for its fifth and final season, airing, five years after its inception, in 1978.

Alas. This Mancini arrangement – segueing here with the theme from \”S.W.A.T.\” in an unedited medley – lack\’s the visceral dynamic of Goldenberg\’s original, but the rip itself is something of an audiophile\’s delight. A complete album of 70s cop show themes, remastered from vinyl, can be found here.

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Hello. I am still breathing, if you wondered at this latest absence. I needed to step back from the drop awhile, the empty space between the rails, to let the game play out. It has not been pretty for