Wednesday, November 18, 2009

the lime in limerick



Back by popular demand. Well. In a manner of speaking. 


The following Learism - in the loosest sense - was originally posted last Friday and subsequently withdrawn by the taste police:


I could'a bin a sex pistol,
but I wasn't invited;
I could'a bin a contender,
but I wasn't from Detroit;
I could'a bin a banjo player,
but someone clipped my strings;
I could'a got out my f@ckin' bed
in the morning, but, then again,
I'm a genuinely lazy sod.

Suck my sock. Winston's dead
and I'm still sleeping.


Give me a motherf@ckin' moment.

I'm trippin' on the stairs.


zzzzz.

By way of an afterword, you may or may not remember that I mentioned some time back that my wife and I hatched a plot to paint the communal landing in our decaying apartment block.

Not just the plot, you understand, but the vaguely tiresome physical undertaking.

While not to everybody's taste, perhaps, we were subsequently approached by the authority in charge of maintenance - the very same body, in fact, which refused to furnish me with paint some five years previously - and lukewarmly thanked. As opposed to being threatened with eviction.

Well. I was expecting to be reprimanded at the very least.

What I was not prepared for, however, was their using our - accidental - colour scheme as a template and employing a team of twenty painters and decorators to 'refurbish' all twenty-three floors in the very same institutional hues. Including the back stairwell, I hasten to add.

Result. Although I gather a number of tenants are less than enamored.

Here's 2 by 4. Neither of which made it onto on EMI's "Entertainment!" in their original form.


There is no five year plan.


GANG OF FOUR: ARMALITE RIFLE from "Damaged Goods" EP (Fast Product) 1978 (UK)
GANG OF FOUR: DAMAGED GOODS from "Damaged Goods" EP (Fast Product) 1978 (UK)

4 comments:

@eloh said...

I get this completely.

Those struggles in sleep land where there is a chance, though it be slim, that one may stumble on a win.

Those missing moments between the two worlds....

When life wants you UP and UP NOW!
But you just have to go back to that space inbetween.

At least that's my take.

The paint job... are you saying that AFTER you painted they finally showed up and painted over what you did to include the rest of the building???

ib said...

That's exactly what they did. They were a tad sloppier with the paint, granted, and there are drip spots and and smeared door handles where there were none previously. But, yes, the entire building has now been repainted in the exact same colour.

I suspect you might have seen this kind of thing before in your army days. Kind of like something out of a book by Joseph Heller.

I am struggling at this moment not to want to go back to "that space inbetween". I have always been bad at mornings.

said...

Thanks for the second thoughts about posting 'I could'a bin'...most entertaining & thought-provoking.

The painting story is excellent...a perfect example of 'action/reaction' reality. The possibility of eviction/reprimand as unjust reward can not always be a deterrent to right action. We must just do as we feel right & deal with the consequences...it's oft surprising the bounce ye olde karmic ball takes.

I'm guessing from your comment over at NNS that the first GOF track here might go hand in hand with vandals for peace.

Thanks as always, for all

ib said...

Well spotted re the first GOF cut. "Vandals for Peace" has a nice ring to it.

The painting thing was a very odd incident. None of those floors in this block have been repainted - officially - in the past 32 years. According to my next door neighbour who has lived here since these flats first went up.

The ridiculous thing is the colour scheme we opted for was genuinely a case of making do with that which "fell off the back of a lorry"; a couple of huge tins of very dodgy looking institutional eggshell paint. It was quite surreal to watch them painting over our handiwork in the very same colours just two weeks later.

Still. At least it is a damn sight cleaner. Even though it took them a week - on our floor alone - to redo what it took 48 hours to achieve first time around.

Given my habitual procrastination in all manner of directions, the less said the better.

I'm working on it.