Tuesday, January 20, 2009


march 4th, 1865; inauguration, the second.

verb [ trans. ]
begin or introduce (a system, policy, or period) : he inaugurated a new policy of trade and exploration.
• admit (someone) formally to public office : the new president will be inaugurated on January 20.
• mark the beginning or first public use of (an organization or project) : the museum was inaugurated on September 12.

ORIGIN late 16th cent.: from Latin inaugurat- ‘interpreted as omens (from the flight of birds),’ based on augurare ‘to augur.’

I thought I was getting a bargain. A pair of jeans for - substantially - under a tenner. And not too bad a cut.

Of course, since I have recently persuaded myself - with no real evidence - that I have visibly shed some weight, I purposefully went down a "dress size" at the time of purchase. They have lounged in their plastic carrier bag for the past couple of weeks, until today, when I was looking for something to wear for an especially pressing engagement; a 'back to work' focused interview for lone parents with (or without) a lone ranger fetish.

Bathed and shaved, I donned a fresh pair of still fairly damp socks and padded off in search of those jeans. I gave up long ago on any attempt to appear trendy or even vaguely up to date with current sartorial fashion for the younger man. I sucked in my gut and wrestled the denim over my thighs. There was a brief moment of irritability as I struggled with the zipper - no button fly for me - and it was then I realised the garment was lacking a button (or stud, or whatever the f@ck you call it). The very thing required to fasten yourself in without resorting to some William Shatner inspired corsetry.

Some f@cking bargain.

Frugality is very often a false economy. And no indicator of common sense, it would seem. You might just have to start the inaugural ball without me.

Oh. And in case you're wondering... That "lone ranger fetish" reference ? Getting up in rubber masks and skin tight baby blue romper suits is not my bag, but it does remind my of a very peculiar and funny story...


Löst Jimmy said...

I did wonder what the Lone Ranger fetish meant, now I wished I hadn't found out!
Hi-ho Silver indeed!

Sorry to read about the 'bargain' jeans

ib said...

Ha! Ah, well. Kind of funny now, in hindsight; I suppose it serves me right for being so miserly...

HowMarvellous said...

ib - I don't see the problem : naturally a belt n braces dealt with the physical restraining of the waistband, and since you intimated that this was a relatively formal appointment... surely your cummerbund would have hidden the missing fastener from the public gaze?.

ib said...

Yes. A cummerbund might have sufficed; unfortunately, I also found (after the fact) as I sought to attach a button that the zipper is now burst.

All the more annoying when you consider the fabric is perfectly fine, but, hey, we live in a disposable society...