Monday, February 2, 2009

"dress for success"

the future of british telephone banking.

This latest - a seminar,
from the Bank of England no less, offering advice on "what and what not to wear" to female banking staff - positively beggars belief.

In the midst of economic meltdown, the Davos summit, and widespread industrial action as the result of UK based jobs being tendered out to EU member nations, leading banking executives are convinced that dress code must be singled out as the utmost priority. Incredulous, I listened on BBC Radio 4 to the minutes from a leaked memo outlining key points on their own internal summit; with a stern caution, aimed at female
employees exclusively, that certain accessories - 'inappropriate' jewelry and make-up, etc - might lead to unwelcome comparisons with "prostitutes". It read:

"Shoes and skirt must be the same colour. No-nos include ankle chains – "professional, but not the one you want to be associated with" – white high heels; overstuffed handbags; an overload of rings, and double-pierced ears."

I f@cking kid you not.

Presumably, those "In It To Win It" imbeciles poised precariously on the top rung of a bonus laden ladder feel that spending investors' cash on a flippant "Dress For Success" seminar is of greater importance than promoting transparency and fundamentally sound business acumen.

The Bank of England appears to be suffering from an identity crisis. It is not Camelot, and the affairs of a leading financial institution should certainly not be conducted with all the gravitas of staging a National Lottery.


Ramone666 said...

´Sorry miss, empty your desk please, there´s no place for you anymore at the Bank of England. Your handbag is way overstuffed.´ The cheek.

ib said...

Quite. It is all too easy to picture some pin-striped old farts squandering hours (and taxpayer's resources) in consultation with some freelance guru, only to conjure up this piece of insulting frippery.

Never mind taking away their bonus; I would have then frogmarched off to a summary court martial and - from thence - directly to the firing squad. Better still, I am sure there are perfectly serviceable guillotines which require only a dusting off.

Löst Jimmy said...

Nice to see they've sorted out the priorities. The arse is out of the economy and they are talking white stilettos

PS I've always thought ankle chains as a nice accessory on a lady, oh dear I'm mixing with the wrong crowd again it seems

ib said...

Yes, I've always been partial to ankle chains, myself; in a manner of speaking.

On another note, I was quite heartened to see Obama kicking the shite out of the US bonus system earlier on the news. The figures these fuckers are still taking out on top of the tax-payers' bailout are an insult on top of injury. And that cancelled annual meeting originally booked in Vegas ? What the fuck are they on ?