Friday, February 6, 2009


Please adopt a senior CEO.

Poor Charlie. They've threatened to take his bonus away.

Every year in the financial services sector, bonuses are being cruelly slashed in a bid to punish the innocent. Charlie is only one of several senior executives unable to underwrite that third luxury home; the private island in Malaysia; a string of well educated personal escorts.

That's why it's imperative we dig deep in our pockets and do something about this frightful state of affairs. Today.

For only £3 per month, you can sponsor a senior CEO just like Charlie. No fuss. No stress. All that's required are your bank details, and we will do the rest.

Come on. Won't somebody please adopt an elderly wretch like Charlie ?

Now the tax payer is obliged to bear the financial burden of bailing out the banks, there is a groundswell of furious debate as to whether the continued practice of paying out grossly excessive bonuses can be countenanced. Expect to see an advertisment like this coming to a space near you in the none too distant future.


HowMarvellous said...

yeah, let's dig deep eh - like we have the choice.

ib said...

It's utterly astounding that they continue to dance around and flap in an attempt to justify the bonus structure; not that's it's contractual, of course, just 'implicit'.

Nazz Nomad said...

I think we're all fucked. I think that as bad as things are right now, they are gonna get a fuckload worse. A fuckload as big as Rosie O'Donnel's ass.

Up until this past month, we've been training to get in the ring with Mike Tyson circa 1986. It was all conceptual... Hey, we'll go in the ring and get hit a couple of times, go down, it'll be unpleasent and then we'll be back to normal. With a pocketful of green dead presiden's to heal our wounds.

Guess what... We just took the rib shot that Michael Spinks got ... The only problem is... There's no count-out, no 8 second standing count, and no 3 minute rounds. It's a steel cage death match, and no way out.

We're just gonna keep getting hit and hit again, until our blood is all over the ring, our teeth are knocked out, and we're all punch drunk, wandering the streets looking for a handout.

ib said...

I too think we're fucked, Nazz, but in spite of it all I enjoyed reading your blow by blow account...

I think we've been fucked for a long time, but nobody bothered to tell those jackals making a killing trading on the market floor.

Th devil has the last laugh.