Saturday, December 5, 2009

blair witch project, after a fashion

Alan Bennett is drowning in his teacup; a surfeit of suburban semi-detached ennui posing as angst.

A whirlpool in a sweeping - suitably modest - driveway emptied of carp. No koi, then, just cloyingly demure. Petty resentments smouldering under doilies scattered like iced fancies. Or fossils behind chintz curtains.

Well, alright; as per usual it is simply the television to blame. The flat screen banshee in the corner stripped of cathode ray glimmer. The twins are dead. And so is the legitimate ghosting I have learned to endure on a Saturday night.

If Snatch were lost on the I.R.T., we are done. Screwed. A valve driven box with one knob missing. Reeking of Ameretto. Disaronno.
Crushed almond over viagra, stiffly anticipating a verbose duel.

THE CLASH: JUNCO PARDNER from "Sandinista!" 3 x LP (CBS) 1980 (UK)


anto said...

you should have watched 'the thick of it' afterwards, talking of viagra

ib said...

The disconcerting thing is we were paid a visit by the Jehovah's early this afternoon. Now. Normally I would shoo them on their way with a puff of smoke and an admonition, but wife was first to open the door.

I think they were so taken aback that it wasn't promptly slammed in their faces that they declared it the work of whispering angels.

Apparently, only a Witness will lend them an ear.

If I hadn't been in the bathroom in my boxer shorts I would have made shorter work of it. As it was, I was tempted to chase them with my razor.

As it is, no doubt they will be back with reinforcements. Once they get a foot over the door they are harder to get rid of than the undead.

Oh well.

ib said...


"I don't care to belong to a club that accepts people like me as members."

- Grocho Marx


'From the moment I picked your book up until I laid it down, I was convulsed with laughter. Someday I intend reading it."

- Groucho Marx

Or maybe:

"From each according to his abilities, to each according to his needs."

- Karl Marx