Friday, September 5, 2008


"So," he said. "ib, you crazy f@cker; you're missing out on the human interest angle, here!"

He smiled thinly, and swirled the brandy around in the ridiculous goldfish bowl which served as his glass. He was an ugly little bastard but clearly fancied himself as dapper.

"Three posts now, unless I'm mistaken, and the content has been... What ? Minerals and dust. A f@cking hole in a plasterboard wall!"

The tight smile widened slightly, and he leaned away from the manicured desk to pull deeply on a clipped cigar. He exhaled for effect. I should have argued, but I was stoned. A perfect smoke circle rose up in the direction of the ceiling like an expanding fat blue zero. Nothing.

"What sells is the human interest factor," he said. Trying not to cough. "People, boy, people; and if you want to get arty once in a while, try some pussy. Sex sells, too".

I looked at him and nodded. Like a small green tree frog. All bulging eye but not too slick. Just coated in perspiration.

LINK WRAY: JACK THE RIPPER from "Jack The Ripper b/w The Stranger" 45 (Rumble Records) 1961 (US)



Your driver said...

OK, is this your fantasy of my conversation with Dr. Wayne? The reality was more like the post on Red Bull. Dr Wayne drinks A LOT of sugar free Rockstar. He's a big Curtis Mayfield fan.

ib said...

Dr. Wayne ?

Ah! No, not really, but now you mention it, not only can I see why you might think that but it explains where the 'goldfish' bowl imagery came from, and the seeds of secondary themes...

The 'real' Dr. Wayne and I clearly have some things in common. I love Rockstar original, but I suspect Dr. Wayne would truly dig Blue Bolt if it ever wings its way to the U.S. in one form or another. Truly outstanding stuff ; in fact, I intend to hit that particular supermarket chain this very afternoon and stock up on a case before it disappears like some sensory mirage...



we've delved into the great Buk previously, but this here above story is just a tastee bit o' writin' worthy of the bum hisself.

Thanks for the good read & hearty guffaw.

ib said...

Thanks, nate. Good to hear it raised a smile and a laugh.

I've got pressure headaches from all that Blue Bolt, but the night is still young.

Your driver said...

Ib, I've been meaning to write back about this one. I didn't mean to take away from the originality of a nice piece of writing. I was just thinking about your reaction to my mentioning an afternoon spent with Black bourgeois intellectuals and men of leisure. Yes, there we were engaging in leisurely but high level discourse while sampling only the best of booze and watching the koi swimming beneath the waterfall. A momentary silence is broken by the piercing cry of a scarlet macaw...

I pictured that bubbling in your brain and eventually transmuting into this piece of writing. The fact that it is punctuated by Jack the Ripper makes it a real hoot. (trans: funny)

ib said...

"A momentary silence is broken by the piercing cry of a scarlet macaw..."

I like that. Close to how I pictured it, but with that added soupçon of well-heeled decadence.